Fit2Heal 2
How does one know whether they truly value themselves? As I previously stated in the last blog, when I first embarked upon my fitness journey, it wasn’t for me. I began going to the gym to help my sister heal and encourage her on her fitness journey. However, after a few weeks, I realized that my life was void of value and I could not fully support my sister if I didn’t love myself first.
Before joining Effect Fitness, I had every excuse, not to workout. I also had an unhealthy diet. One day while in class, I pondered on this question, “how much do you love you?” I questioned my love for myself because I often contemplated suicide. This question really had me in deep thought because for the first time in a long time, I realized I had neglected me and needed to fix me. Well, God had to fix me, and I had to be willing and ready!
As an adolescent, I was taught to take care of family first. I became accustomed to seeing a need and meeting it. I was taught that if you have it, give it. For most of my life, I found myself always finding a way to help, support and provide for everyone else, except ME. At this point in my fitness journey, I have learned to take my life back. I had to refocus my attention on me and devote a portion of my day to personal health care. I knew that if I wanted to change, I needed to do something different and adopt a different mindset. In order to seize the opportunity ahead of me, I knew that it was going to take diligence and perseverance. I knew I didn’t want to start another great venture and fail. I was determined to finish the course this time around! I had to have some follow-through this time because my life was a complete war zone. I was suffering from migraines and insomnia from carrying the weight of my family and the rape. I had developed a very unhealthy lifestyle of drinking and eating unhealthily. Just like most black children, I ate fried pork chops, fried chicken, fried hotdogs, and anything else that could be fried daily. I didn’t think about what I ate if it tasted and looked good I ate it.
I got so caught up in family traditions that I didn’t realize that these same traditions were killing me. My body shut down, my emotions were a wreck, and I was very angry… until I gave myself permission to heal.
2 Corinthians 7:1 “With promises like this to pull us on, dear friends, let’s make a clean break with everything that defiles or distracts us, both within and without. Let’s make our entire lives fit and holy temples for the worship of God.”
At that moment I realized that if I didn’t want to go down the same pattern of sickness in my family I had to change and if I wanted to live a more healthy life then I had to change the traditions that cause their death or sickness. So I began removing unhealthy foods, alcohol out of my diet and became self-conscious of the things I put inside my body because I wanted better
In life, you must relinquish baggage and things that hinder your growth, even if it means your closest family and friends. You must evaluate every season and see how it benefited you the most. I know that this may sound selfish, but sometimes you must be a little selfish in order to be intentional. Take 30 minutes out of your day to pray, meditate, move, and heal. GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO HEAL! No excuses, No regrets.
